my new computer rocks.

i am so proud of myself! i fixed my "technical" issues connecting to the internet. all by myself. Amazing.

ok. i'm finally, finally on the road to recovery. this whole broken leg business really sucks. i'm now getting settled in my new apartment, and just hooked up my new computer! i connect at 49K here.. awesome. :) more later; lots to download now. :)

ugh. so. i broke my leg on 12/24. in three places. i had to have surgery, and now i am the lucky recipient of 10 pins and one metal plate in my leg. anyway, i'm camped out at my parents house for now. this is all very, very lame.

oh, i almost forgot! i am getting a new computer for x-mas!! that is so exciting. the whole reason why i started working at my job was because my company (used to) offers a technology loan up to $2000 for computer related expenses. this would have meant that i could have gotten a computer, while slowly paying it back.. but noooo! a mere 2 weeks before i would have qualified for the loan, it was discontinued! ever since then, at every company meeting, i would raise my hand and ask if i could get a loan (half jokingly). anyway, i'm super happy about this present. :)

ok, so good news. i applied for a new lease at my friend's house. i'm excited to move in to their house! this is going to go well, i think. i was really stressed out recently about all this, along with money, christmas, etc. i know i mentioned this before.

i'm going to do all my x-mas shopping tomorrow on a whirlwind spree with Anja. her little bro is going to drive us around (thanks, Sylvio!) to get it all done tomorrow afternoon. then, i'm going to my parents house for the regular x-mas eve activities.

Josh and i aren't doing very well. we're in the process of discussing the future of our relationship together. whether or not we should move into this new house together, etc. we'll see what happens. i anticipate that we will move in together into this new house, but that we'll have seperate rooms so as to have more space for each of us.

Beth is moving back! i am so excited! i talked to her the other day, and things with her family aren't going so swell. she's planning on staying in minnesota for 2 months or therabouts, and then moving back. that makes me so happy. :)

i am still depressed. there's really not much i can do at this point, except ride it out and hope for the best. my relationship seems to be falling apart; we just aren't talking at all anymore. i don't want to let go of him yet, but on the other hand i'm really wanting to break free.

i came to the conclusion yesterday that i have a crush on a co-worker. i don't know how to deal with this. i fucking hate crushes, and i hate that i have a crush on someone that i have to work with.

okay, i lied.

i don't HATE my job, but it has definitely been super-unenjoyable lately..

I HATE MY JOB.
however, i do enjoy guns 'n' roses mp3's. i've been taking a butt-rockin' trip down memory lane lately.

that is all.

so, the weekend is over, unfortunately. now i just have to figure out how to deal without any sleep.. oh well. i've been pretty depressed lately, actually. it's weird that I haven't gotten much sleep lately, as normally when I'm depressed it's all I want to do. i've been missing my friend Eddie a lot lately. He moved back to minnesota several months ago, and i just miss him is all. i also miss my friend Beth, who just moved back to minnesota on saturday. i am also depressed about christmas, as I have no money. i am also depressed that my job will be ending soon; which means i need to get my ass in gear and figure out what to do with myself soon.. i am also depressed because i am moving soon, and have no money for that. i am also depressed because my boyfriend ignores me. not intentionally, but he just never hangs out with me anymore.

i am not depressed because i have good hair, and great cats, and good friends.

This is actually a friend of Courtney's. I am writing a few words on her web page, maybe someday they will make me some money, eh? We had a work party, it was fun, Courtney is so cool. We can sit and drink beer and talk, or sit outside and smoke and laugh and tonight I made her laugh alot. Courtney has an infectuous laugh. When Courtney laughs, I want to laugh. She told me about her Step-Grandma and what a freak she is. She told me about how cool her parents are, but she doesn't talk much about her sister. Hmmm. I wonder about that, although I shouldn't. I have an older sister, and for many years, she was the last person I talked about. Now I think she is really cool, in some ways I want to be like her, I admire her. Maybe in 10 years Courtney will talk more about her sister. With same sex siblings, it is alot harder, the relationship involves so much rivalry and competition. It passes though, as many things do and we realize that was just a part of the puzzle. So, that is my little posting to Courtney's web page, I think it has been very cool, I am glad that if someone someday reads this, I may become famous.